Addressing Medical, Legal, & Financial Advance Care Planning:
The Healthy Aging Checklist Part 6

This is the sixth and final post covering the Healthy Aging Checklist, a set of six core activities that will help any older adult maintain the best possible health while aging.

They are:

Promote brain health and emotional well-being.
Promote physical health.
Check for and address common aging health problems (such as falls, memory concerns, depression, incontinence, pain, isolation, polypharmacy).
Learn to optimize the management of any chronic conditions.
Get recommended preventive health services for older adults.
Address medical, legal, and financial advance care planning.

In this post, I’ll address the last item on the list: advance planning for medical, legal, and financial issues. This includes power of attorney documents, plus much more.

This is a big topic, and it’s not possible to cover everything you could or should do in a single article. You would need a book for that — I suggest three down below — plus it’s best to work with qualified professionals (healthcare providers, eldercare attorneys, and financial planners) before completing any legally binding paperwork.

But every day as I work, I see older adults and families whose health and well-being is being affected by the consequences of their planning — or lack of planning, as the case often is.

So in this post, I will share some practical information that should make it easier for you to address planning that covers some common age-related challenges:

The three key steps involved in all advance planning for aging
5 common problems every older adult and family should consider planning for
5 key steps for advanced planning in healthcare, and where to get a good free medical power of attorney (POA)
4 key steps for advance planning for legal and financial issues, and what to know about general POAs
Tips for adult children, including what to do if you’re concerned about mental capacity or undue influence

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5 Types of Medication Used to Treat Sundowning & Difficult Dementia Behaviors

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

One of the greatest challenges, when it comes to Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias, is coping with sundowning and with difficult behaviors.

These are symptoms beyond the chronic memory/thinking problems that are the hallmark of dementia. They include problems like:

Delusions, false accusations, paranoid behaviors, or irrational beliefs
Agitation (getting “amped up” or “revved up”) and/or aggressive behavior
Restless pacing or wandering
Disinhibited behaviors, which means saying or doing socially inappropriate things
Sleep disturbances

These are technically called “neuropsychiatric” symptoms, but regular people might refer to them as “acting crazy” symptoms. Or even “crazy-making” symptoms, as they do tend to drive family caregivers a bit nuts.

And when these behaviors happen in the late afternoon or early evening, it’s usually called “sundowning“. (In most cases, sundowning is triggered by fatigue; anticholinergic medications may cause sundowning symptoms as well.)

Because these behaviors are difficult and stressful for caregivers — and often for the person with dementia — people often ask if any medications can help.

The short answer is “Maybe.”

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10 Things to Know About Delirium

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Pop quiz: What aging health problem is extremely common, has serious implications for an older person’s health and wellbeing, and can often – but not always – be prevented?

It’s delirium. In my opinion, this is one of the most important aging health problems for older adults to be aware of. It’s also vital for family caregivers to know about this condition, since families can be integral to preventing and detecting delirium.

In this article, I’ll explain just what delirium is, and how it compares to dementia. Then I’ll share 10 things you should know, and what you can do.

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4 Things to Try When Your Aging Parent Seems Irrational

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Dear Dr. K,

Any ideas on how I can relieve my mother’s anxiety about her thinking an animal got in the house? I can’t find anything and have moved the couches but she is convinced and scared.

She’s always been a worrier, plus her thinking has been deteriorating and her vision is impaired a bit. I take care of her and my Dad both 94. She gets upset if I tell her I think she just thought she was seeing something and says I think she is crazy. Last night she woke me up shaking and practically in tears because she thought she saw it again -I offered for her to come sleep with me but she wouldn’t. Any suggestions? — C.S.

Thanks so much for sending in this question. This is a very common complaint I hear from family caregivers, so I am happy to share some thoughts about what might be going on and what you can do.

Now, I can’t say for sure what is going on with your mother. That’s because she’s not my patient, and I’m not in a position to interview her and examine her.

What I can say, however, is that it’s very common for older adults to develop persisting fears, worries, and complaints that often strike their family members as irrational, paranoid, absurd, or ridiculous.

Why is this?

Among my own patients, I’ve found this is often related to underlying cognitive impairment. Meaning, a problem with memory or thinking that hasn’t yet been fully diagnosed by doctors. In some cases, this kind of complaint ends up being one of the very earliest signs of clinical dementia.

Lewy-Body dementia, in particular, is associated with visual hallucinations. But any process causing brain deterioration (Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, etc.) can result in anxieties spiraling out of control, or persisting strange beliefs.

That said, it’s quite possible for an aging person to express such fears and not have it be dementia. Maybe there really is an animal in the house, or a person stealing your parent’s things. It’s also possible for people to develop confusion or false beliefs due a problem other than dementia, such as mental illness or delirium.

(For more in-depth information on the most common causes of paranoia and strange beliefs in older adults, see this article: 6 Causes of Paranoia in Aging & What to Do.)

Still, given your mom’s age and the fact you’ve noticed other signs of “thinking deterioration,” there’s a good chance that her persisting fear could be related to some chronic underlying cognitive impairment.

4 Things to try to help your mother

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Incompetence & Losing Capacity:
Answers to 8 FAQs

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Depositphotos_9669220_m-2015-brain-cogs-leaving-compressor

Have you ever been concerned about an older relative who seems to be making bad decisions?

Perhaps your elderly father insists he has no difficulties driving, even though he’s gotten into some fender benders and you find yourself a bit uncomfortable when you ride in the car with him.

Or you’ve worried about your aging aunt giving an alarming amount of money to people who call her on the phone.

Or maybe it’s your older spouse, who has started refusing to take his medication, claiming that it’s poisoned because the neighbor is out to get him.

These situations are certainly concerning, and they often prompt families to ask me if they should be worried about an older adult becoming “incompetent.”

In response, I usually answer that we need to do at least two things:

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How to Manage Sleep Problems in Dementia

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Sleep problems are common in Alzheimer’s and other dementias. They also commonly drive family caregivers crazy, because when your spouse or parent with Alzheimer’s doesn’t sleep well, this often means that you don’t sleep well.

To make matters even worse, not getting enough sleep can worsen the thinking or behavior of someone with dementia. Of course, this is true for those of us who don’t have Alzheimer’s as well: we all become more prone to irritation and emotional instability when we’re tired. Studies have also shown that even younger healthy people perform worse on cognitive tests when they are sleep-deprived.

Hence getting enough sleep is important, for people diagnosed with dementia, and for their hard-working caregivers. Now, sleep problems do often take a little effort to evaluate and improve. But as I explain below, research has found that it is often possible to improve sleep problems in dementia.

The key is to know what common causes to look for, and then come prepared to provide useful information to the doctor. In this article, I’ll cover:

Common causes of sleep problems in Alzheimer’s and other dementias,
How sleep issues should be evaluated
Proven approaches that help improve sleep in dementia
What to know about commonly tried medications for this problem

Common Causes of Sleep Changes and Problems in People with Dementia

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How to Plan for Decline in Alzheimer’s Dementia:
A 5-Step Approach to Navigating Difficult Decisions & Crises with Less Stress

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Q: My mother is 76 and has Alzheimer’s disease. She had a couple of unavoidable stays last year in the hospital (due to falls). This accelerated her decline due to delirium, which was treated as if she was just being an unruly and difficult patient. Once my sister and I understood what was going on due to this site’s information, we have been able to protect and support her.

Right now things are stable and quiet, so we are trying to plan ahead.

How should we go about planning for the years of decline my mother may experience before her actual last moments near death? It’s hard to imagine this possibility and I need help facing the (to me) not so obvious.

We have a will, power of attorney, and health care proxy in place.

A: Great question, and especially good that you’re taking advantage of a “quiet period” to address these issues.

It’s a little tricky to answer this question without knowing more about your mother’s current ability to participate in decision-making and in planning for her future care.

Since you say she’s declined after hospitalizations for falls and delirium, let me assume that she has moderate Alzheimer’s and can’t manage more than perhaps expressing some of what she likes and doesn’t like. (For more on the stages of Alzheimer’s and related dementias, see here.)

At this point, you’ve been through some health crises already, and you’ve seen her decline. You’ve also probably gotten a sense of just how many decisions have to be made on her behalf. Some are about her medical care and some are about other aspects of her life, like where she lives and how she spends her days.

Planning ahead is an excellent idea. Obviously, it’s simply not possible to anticipate and plan for every decision that will come up.

But let me offer you an approach that you can use both now as well as “in the heat of the moment” when specific issues arise. This is a framework to help you navigate all kinds of care decisions and future crises that you may encounter.

The following five steps will give you a foundation for anticipating, processing, and reacting to the complications and problems of later-stage Alzheimer’s, with less anxiety and more confidence. These steps are:

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4 Medications FDA-Approved to Treat Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias:
How They Work & FAQs

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

If someone in your family has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another dementia, chances are that they’ve been prescribed one of the “memory medications,” such as donepezil (brand name Aricept) or memantine (brand name Namenda).

But were they told what to expect, and how to judge if the medication is worth continuing?

I’ve noticed that patients and families often aren’t told much about how well these medications generally work, their side effects, and how to determine if it’s likely to help in their situation.

So in this post, I’ll explain how the four Alzheimer’s medications in wide use work. I’ll also address some of the frequently asked questions that I hear from older adults and families.

If someone in your family is taking one of these medications or considering them, this will help you better understand the medication and what questions you might want to ask the doctors. It’s especially important to understand the pros and cons if finances or medication costs are a concern.

I also have a video discussing this topic, along with newer discoveries in Alzheimer’s care and non-drug related approaches:

Note: This article is about those drugs that have been studied and approved to treat the cognitive decline related to dementia. This is not the same as treating behavioral symptoms (technically called “neuropsychiatric” symptoms) related to dementia, such as paranoia, agitation, hallucinations, aggression, sleep disturbances, wandering, and so forth. Until 2023, there were no drugs FDA-approved to treat the behavioral problems of dementia. The use of psychiatric medications, such as quetiapine and brexpiprazole (Seroquel and Rexulti, respectively), in dementia and is covered here: 5 Types of Medication Used to Treat Sundowning & Difficult Dementia Behaviors.)

Worried about the health & safety of an aging loved one? I explain how to address driving and other safety issues here: How to Help Your Parent with Memory Loss Be Safer (Even if They’re Resisting).

4 Oral Medications FDA-Approved to Treat Dementia

FDA-approved medications to treat Alzheimer’s and related types of dementia basically fall into two categories:

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4 Types of Brain-Slowing Medication to Avoid if You’re Worried About Memory

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

A few years ago, while I was at a family celebration, several people mentioned memory concerns to me.

Some were older adults concerned about the memory of their spouses. Some were adult children concerned about the short-term memory of their parents. And a few were older adults who have noticed some slowing down of their own memory.

“But you know, nothing much that can be done at my age,” remarked one man in his eighties.

Wrong. In fact, there is a lot that can and should be done, if you notice memory loss or thinking changes in yourself or in another older adult. And you should do it because it ends up making a difference for brain health and quality of life.

First among them: identify medications that make brain function worse.

This is not just my personal opinion. Identifying and reducing such medications is a mainstay of geriatrics practice. Among other reasons, we do find that in some people, certain medications are causing memory loss symptoms — or other cognitive symptoms — to be worse.

And the expert authors of the National Academy of Medicine report on Cognitive Aging agree: in their Action Guide for Individuals and Families, they list “Manage your medications” among their “Top 3 actions you can take to help protect your cognitive health as you age.”

Unfortunately, many older adults are unaware of this recommendation. And I can’t tell you how often I find that seniors are taking over-the-counter or prescription medications that dampen their brain function. Sometimes it’s truly necessary but often it’s not.

What especially troubles me is that most of these older adults — and their families — have no idea that many have been linked to developing dementia, or to worsening of dementia symptoms. So it’s worth spotting them whether you are concerned about mild cognitive impairment or caring for someone with full-blown Alzheimer’s dementia.

Every older adult and family should know how to optimize brain function. Avoiding problem medications — or at least using them judiciously and in the lowest doses necessary — is key to this.

And don’t give anyone a pass when they say “Oh, I’ve always taken this drug.” Younger and healthier brains experience less dysfunction from these drugs. That’s because a younger brain has more processing power and is more resilient. So drugs that aren’t such problems earlier in life often have more impact later in life. Just because you took a drug in your youth or middle years doesn’t mean it’s harmless to continue once you are older.

You should also know that most of these drugs affect balance, and may increase fall risk. So there’s a double benefit in identifying them, and minimizing them.

Below, I share the most commonly used drugs that you should look out for if you are worried about memory loss.

Featured Download: Get my free list of medications that can affect memory and thinking in aging adults. This handy PDF includes all the medications I usually check for. Click here to download.

The Four Most Commonly Used Types of Medications That Dampen Brain Function

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Q&A: What to do if your aging parent becomes rude & resistant

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Q: My loving, Jewish mother is 92 and has turned into a rude, abusive foul-mouthed woman who I no longer recognize.

She’s in relatively good health and amazingly lives in the same house I grew up in. She has an aide during the day. She won’t leave the house, treats the aide poorly and last weekend cursed out my very patient spouse. We’ve been getting 5 calls a day such as ” I’m having a heart attack; no one will tell me whether recycling comes today”!

I know she has early signs of dementia. Her cardiologist tells me not to take it to heart and this is not the same woman who raised me. She won’t go to the JCC adult programs, complains about being lonely at night, yet hangs up on me when I tell her we can get an aide at night or sell the home and let her live in a facility with women her age, etc. She threatens to call the Police if someone comes to her home at night. I have a POA but don’t want to rob her of her independence at 92. I try to tell her to speak nicely to the aides, myself, my spouse, but she says ” I don’t remember or I must have reacted to something someone did or said.”

I feel guilty as I’m not spending as much time with her as I would like, but it’s a matter of survival. Jewish guilt is thrown about with impunity and I can’t tell whether she’s being manipulative and obsessing over bullshit ( “oh my God the outside light may burn out tonight” ) or she really can’t control herself. Her aide is a lovely human being but my mom orders her around like a slave. Who is this woman? I’m torn, anguishing over what to do and am doing nothing but try to correct her inappropriate behavior and language. I wanted to take her to a geriatric psychiatrist but she refused to go. Medication to calm her down is dangerous per the MD as she could fall, etc.

What should I do? I’m at my wits end.

Dr. K’s answer:

Wow, difficult situation but unfortunately not uncommon.

You say your mother has early signs of dementia, and it is true that “personality changes” can be due to an underlying type of dementia, such as fronto-temporal dementia or Alzheimer’s, especially if a family notices other changes in memory or thinking abilities.

But it doesn’t sound like your mother’s been clinically evaluated for dementia, and you don’t say whether this has been brought up with her primary care doctor.

How to Get Signs of Dementia (or Personality Changes) Evaluated

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4 Things to try to help your mother

Common Causes of Sleep Changes and Problems in People with Dementia

4 Oral Medications FDA-Approved to Treat Dementia

The Four Most Commonly Used Types of Medications That Dampen Brain Function

Dr. K’s answer:

How to Get Signs of Dementia (or Personality Changes) Evaluated

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