Helping Older Parents Articles

Wondering whether you should worry? Having trouble getting parents to accept help? Overwhelmed by challenges and concerns?

This part of the site is especially for you! It includes our hand-picked articles, tips, & resources for people helping older parents.

COVID Vaccination for Aging Adults:
What to Know & Do

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH 61 Comments

As everyone knows, the COVID-19 pandemic has caused a public health — and societal — crisis of epic proportions. The impact has been especially severe on older adults, who are more likely to be severely affected by COVID, and who represent a distressingly high proportion of the U.S.’s COVID deaths.

But, in an amazing feat of scientific achievement, COVID vaccines were developed in truly record time, and as of Spring 2021, a large-scale vaccination campaign has been rolled out in the U.S., with healthcare workers and older adults being prioritized for vaccination.

This doesn’t mean everything will be back to normal very soon. But vaccination is what will enable us to eventually pull out of the danger and disruption the pandemic is causing.

Although it’s exciting to see COVID vaccination start to take place in the U.S., it also raises a lot of questions for people. This article summarizes what I think is most important for older adults and families to know about coronavirus vaccination.

In particular, I want to offer science-based information to help with common questions, such as “Which COVID vaccine is better for seniors?” or “Which COVID vaccine for a 90-year-old?”

I’ll also cover vaccine safety, and what we know so far about how effective these COVID vaccines are in older adults.

Latest Updates:

Here is a video update from March 26, 2021: [Read more…]

Leg Swelling in Aging: What to Know & What to Do

by Nicole Didyk, MD 6 Comments

Swelling in the lower legs – known as “lower extremity edema” in medical terms – is a problem that often affects older adults.

The good news is that most of the time, it’s annoying, but not terribly dangerous. However, in other cases, swelling in the feet, ankles, or lower legs can be the sign of a new health problem, or a worsening chronic condition.

And, even if it’s “benign” and not related to a dangerous health condition, edema can be a major risk factor for skin breakdown and reduced mobility in aging adults.

Since leg swelling becomes so common as people get older, in this article we’ll demystify leg edema and cover the most important things that older adults and families should know about this condition. In particular, we’ll cover:

How does edema happen?
Common causes of swollen ankles or legs in aging adults
Medications that can cause leg swelling as a side-effect
How leg swelling should be medically evaluated
How to prevent and treat leg swelling
What to know BEFORE going on a “water pill”

[Read more…]

6 Steps to Take When Aging Parents Need Help – Even if They’re Resisting

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH 4 Comments

getting aging mother to accept help Have you noticed worrisome changes in your aging parent?

Maybe they’ve been mostly okay but now you’re seeing problems with memory, such as forgetfulness or asking the same questions repeatedly. Or maybe you’ve noticed trouble with driving, keeping up the house, managing stairs, or paying bills.

Some aging parents simply begin to seem more withdrawn. Others start leveling accusations at others, claiming someone took or moved something, or acting paranoid.

For many adult children, these changes lead to mounting questions. What’s wrong? What’s happening? Is it safe for Mom to keep driving? Should Dad live alone much longer?

I think of this as the “uh-oh” stage. It’s a transition no one looks forward to, and most haven’t prepared for: the time when you might have to start helping your aging parent.

And for many, it comes with an added challenge: Most aging parents don’t welcome much help from their adult children. They may see it as interference, or an invasion of privacy.

Some parents might even refuse to accept that they’re having difficulties, despite issues that feel glaringly obvious—and concerning—to you.

By the time you’re noticing changes and have safety concerns, it’s quite possible that you’re right: that your parent does need help of some kind. So how should you best get involved, especially if your attempts to do so have gone poorly in the past?

Well, it’s certainly not easy. These situations are complicated from a medical and eldercare perspective, plus they tend to bring up difficult emotions for older parents and adult children alike.

But I do believe that it’s crucial for families to get involved. It’s not likely to be easy. But it can be easier, if you’re able to learn the better ways to do so—and also what to stop doing. [Read more…]

Q&A: What You Can Do if You’re Worried About “Incompetence”

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH 50 Comments

Q: My 87 year old father lives alone. His house has become increasingly dirty, but he refuses to get help, even though I’m sure he needs it. I’m worried that he’s becoming incompetent, but he doesn’t want to go see the doctor. What can I do?

A: This situation does come up a fair bit with aging parents and relatives. I’m sorry to say there usually are no easy solutions. But there are definitely things you can and should do, and it’s better to act sooner rather than later.

Let’s review what you can do. I’ll also explain what I’ve learned about “incompetence” over the years, and how doctors usually play a role in the evaluation of such older adults.

Then, I’ll share some thoughts on how older people and families can plan ahead, to avoid facing this kind of dilemma. And then last but not least, I share a few thoughts on taking care of yourself as you go through this.

What’s probably going on with your father

[Read more…]

Top 10 Checklist for Better Health & Aging in 2021

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH 39 Comments

Do you find yourself taking stock and setting goals around the time of New Year’s?

It is indeed an excellent time to reflect on the past year. (And wow, quite a lot to reflect on for 2020!)

And although one can set goals at any time of year, the start of the calendar year is a time that seems to inspire many people to think about their health and how to thrive over the coming year.

If better health while aging is important to you, here are my top ten suggestions for the coming year. [Read more…]

Helping Older Parents Articles

Latest Updates:

What’s probably going on with your father

Disclaimer