Hiring In-Home Caregivers for Aging in Place: What to Know

This article is by Michelle Allen, LCSW. Michelle is an experienced social worker and geriatric care manager based in Atlanta and is a featured expert providing guidance in our Helping Older Parents programs.

At some point, you may need to have someone help your older parent – or perhaps you – with care in the home.

So, what do you do when you need some more hands to help with housekeeping, meal preparation, dressing, transportation, medication management, etc.? How do you find qualified, reliable, kind, and trustworthy people?

About two-thirds of all help comes from unpaid caregivers — such as daughters, sons, and friends — and about one-third of all help comes from paid caregivers.

It is easy to understand how you get a family member or friend to help — you usually just ask. But hiring a paid in home caregiver can be a bit more daunting.

In this article, I’ll explain what you need to know, to better understand your options and get the care that is needed.

Home Care vs. Home Health

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How to Review Medications for Safety & Appropriateness in Aging

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

By now you’ve probably heard that older adults are often taking “too many” medications.

You also hopefully know that older people are often prescribed medications that may be harmful, or no longer necessary. The CDC has estimated that adverse drug events send older adults to the emergency room 600,000 times per year.

Why does this happen? Research has shown that “inappropriate prescribing” is common in older adults. Meaning that, when patient charts are carefully reviewed, experts often find that older adults are receiving medications that are ineffective, duplicate the effect of another medication, or otherwise lack a basis for being prescribed.

So what can you do?

To reduce the chance of being harmed by inappropriate medications, the answer is not to look for a super doctor. The answer is to regularly conduct a methodical medication review, in which all medications are reviewed for appropriateness and safety. This is part of a process called “deprescribing.”

Scheduling such regular medication reviews is becoming more common in well-run primary care clinics. But if your doctor’s office doesn’t yet offer this service, you can ask for it.

Geriatricians are trained to do this, but if you can’t find a geriatrician, you should be able to get a decent review from the primary care doctor.

But before you go in, it pays to do a little homework on your own. That’s because the input of a patient and her caregivers is actually crucial to determining whether each medication is appropriate for her.

To help you complete this background preparation for a medication review, just follow the 5-Step process I describe below. This will free up some time when you’re actually seeing the doctor — which might mean more time for questions or discussion — and can help you spot safety issues that a non-geriatrician might otherwise not notice.

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Financial Exploitation in Aging: What to Know & What to Do

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Here’s an upsetting situation that comes up a lot, and may have come up for you: is someone financially taking advantage of Mom or Dad?

It’s a pretty legitimate concern to have. To begin with, most people know that there are plenty of “scammers” out there, phoning or mailing older adults with deceptive information designed to hoodwink them out of some of their savings.

But there’s actually another form of exploitation that may be more common, and is often harder for families to address.

That would be exploitation perpetrated by a someone the older person knows and has a personal relationship with.

Sometimes the person suspected of exploitation is relatively new to the older person’s life, such as a new romantic interest, friend, or paid caregiver.

In other cases, family members become concerned that someone in the family – such as one of the older person’s children – is beginning to take financial advantage of things.

Exploitation in the context of personal relationships is often especially tricky for families to address. The older person may be quite attached to – or otherwise feel dependent on – the person that others perceive as suspicious or problematic. Or there may be concerns about stirring up family dramas and conflicts, by voicing concerns about a sibling or another relative.

People are often unsure of what exactly constitutes illegal activity, and what can be done if they are concerned about financial exploitation.

So in this article, I’ll cover the key things you should know, so that you can better evaluate and address a worrisome situation, should one arise.

Specifically, in this article I’ll explain:

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Age-Related Hearing Loss (Presbycusis):
What to Know & What to Do

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Have you noticed that an older relative seems to be having trouble hearing you at times?

Or perhaps you’ve realized that sometimes YOU are the one saying “What?”

These situations are extremely common. Sometimes the issue is that one is trying to communicate in a noisy place and there is no need for concern.

But in many cases, these kinds of issues can indicate that an older person (or even a middle-aged person) is being affected by age-related hearing loss. (The medical term is “presbycusis”)

You probably already know this: chronic hearing impairment becomes very common as one gets older. The National Institute on Aging reports that one in three adults aged 65-74 has hearing loss, and nearly half of those aged 75+ have difficulty with hearing.

Hearing loss also affects a significant number of people earlier in life. A 2011 study on the epidemiology of hearing loss documented hearing loss in 11% of participants aged 45-54, and 25% of those aged 55-64.

In short, research confirms that quite a lot of people experience hearing loss. But sadly, research also confirms that hearing loss is often under-recognized and inadequately addressed.

This is a major public health issue, for older adults and also for the many middle-aged adults experiencing hearing loss. At this point, we know quite a lot about: [Read more…]

How to Plan for Decline in Alzheimer’s Dementia:
A 5-Step Approach to Navigating Difficult Decisions & Crises with Less Stress

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Q: My mother is 76 and has Alzheimer’s disease. She had a couple of unavoidable stays last year in the hospital (due to falls). This accelerated her decline due to delirium, which was treated as if she was just being an unruly and difficult patient. Once my sister and I understood what was going on due to this site’s information, we have been able to protect and support her.

Right now things are stable and quiet, so we are trying to plan ahead.

How should we go about planning for the years of decline my mother may experience before her actual last moments near death? It’s hard to imagine this possibility and I need help facing the (to me) not so obvious.

We have a will, power of attorney, and health care proxy in place.

A: Great question, and especially good that you’re taking advantage of a “quiet period” to address these issues.

It’s a little tricky to answer this question without knowing more about your mother’s current ability to participate in decision-making and in planning for her future care.

Since you say she’s declined after hospitalizations for falls and delirium, let me assume that she has moderate Alzheimer’s and can’t manage more than perhaps expressing some of what she likes and doesn’t like. (For more on the stages of Alzheimer’s and related dementias, see here.)

At this point, you’ve been through some health crises already, and you’ve seen her decline. You’ve also probably gotten a sense of just how many decisions have to be made on her behalf. Some are about her medical care and some are about other aspects of her life, like where she lives and how she spends her days.

Planning ahead is an excellent idea. Obviously, it’s simply not possible to anticipate and plan for every decision that will come up.

But let me offer you an approach that you can use both now as well as “in the heat of the moment” when specific issues arise. This is a framework to help you navigate all kinds of care decisions and future crises that you may encounter.

The following five steps will give you a foundation for anticipating, processing, and reacting to the complications and problems of later-stage Alzheimer’s, with less anxiety and more confidence. These steps are:

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How to Eat for Healthy Aging:
What to know & do

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Have you ever wondered: what should I be eating, for better aging?

It’s an important question, since nutrition can be a powerful influence on health. But with all the varied nutrition and healthy diet information out there, it’s easy to end up confused.

In this article, I’m going to explain:

How I am currently thinking about nutrition for older adults,
What I recommend most older adults eat (and not eat),
The importance of eating to support better metabolic health,
How to determine what is a good diet for YOUR aging body and brain.

I’ll also address nutrition for older adults dealing with frailty and sarcopenia (muscle loss).

This information is also covered in my related YouTube video:

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4 Medications FDA-Approved to Treat Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias:
How They Work & FAQs

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

If someone in your family has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another dementia, chances are that they’ve been prescribed one of the “memory medications,” such as donepezil (brand name Aricept) or memantine (brand name Namenda).

But were they told what to expect, and how to judge if the medication is worth continuing?

I’ve noticed that patients and families often aren’t told much about how well these medications generally work, their side effects, and how to determine if it’s likely to help in their situation.

So in this post, I’ll explain how the four Alzheimer’s medications in wide use work. I’ll also address some of the frequently asked questions that I hear from older adults and families.

If someone in your family is taking one of these medications or considering them, this will help you better understand the medication and what questions you might want to ask the doctors. It’s especially important to understand the pros and cons if finances or medication costs are a concern.

I also have a video discussing this topic, along with newer discoveries in Alzheimer’s care and non-drug related approaches:

Note: This article is about those drugs that have been studied and approved to treat the cognitive decline related to dementia. This is not the same as treating behavioral symptoms (technically called “neuropsychiatric” symptoms) related to dementia, such as paranoia, agitation, hallucinations, aggression, sleep disturbances, wandering, and so forth. Until 2023, there were no drugs FDA-approved to treat the behavioral problems of dementia. The use of psychiatric medications, such as quetiapine and brexpiprazole (Seroquel and Rexulti, respectively), in dementia and is covered here: 5 Types of Medication Used to Treat Sundowning & Difficult Dementia Behaviors.)

Worried about the health & safety of an aging loved one? I explain how to address driving and other safety issues here: How to Help Your Parent with Memory Loss Be Safer (Even if They’re Resisting).

4 Oral Medications FDA-Approved to Treat Dementia

FDA-approved medications to treat Alzheimer’s and related types of dementia basically fall into two categories:

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4 Types of Brain-Slowing Medication to Avoid if You’re Worried About Memory

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

A few years ago, while I was at a family celebration, several people mentioned memory concerns to me.

Some were older adults concerned about the memory of their spouses. Some were adult children concerned about the short-term memory of their parents. And a few were older adults who have noticed some slowing down of their own memory.

“But you know, nothing much that can be done at my age,” remarked one man in his eighties.

Wrong. In fact, there is a lot that can and should be done, if you notice memory loss or thinking changes in yourself or in another older adult. And you should do it because it ends up making a difference for brain health and quality of life.

First among them: identify medications that make brain function worse.

This is not just my personal opinion. Identifying and reducing such medications is a mainstay of geriatrics practice. Among other reasons, we do find that in some people, certain medications are causing memory loss symptoms — or other cognitive symptoms — to be worse.

And the expert authors of the National Academy of Medicine report on Cognitive Aging agree: in their Action Guide for Individuals and Families, they list “Manage your medications” among their “Top 3 actions you can take to help protect your cognitive health as you age.”

Unfortunately, many older adults are unaware of this recommendation. And I can’t tell you how often I find that seniors are taking over-the-counter or prescription medications that dampen their brain function. Sometimes it’s truly necessary but often it’s not.

What especially troubles me is that most of these older adults — and their families — have no idea that many have been linked to developing dementia, or to worsening of dementia symptoms. So it’s worth spotting them whether you are concerned about mild cognitive impairment or caring for someone with full-blown Alzheimer’s dementia.

Every older adult and family should know how to optimize brain function. Avoiding problem medications — or at least using them judiciously and in the lowest doses necessary — is key to this.

And don’t give anyone a pass when they say “Oh, I’ve always taken this drug.” Younger and healthier brains experience less dysfunction from these drugs. That’s because a younger brain has more processing power and is more resilient. So drugs that aren’t such problems earlier in life often have more impact later in life. Just because you took a drug in your youth or middle years doesn’t mean it’s harmless to continue once you are older.

You should also know that most of these drugs affect balance, and may increase fall risk. So there’s a double benefit in identifying them, and minimizing them.

Below, I share the most commonly used drugs that you should look out for if you are worried about memory loss.

Featured Download: Get my free list of medications that can affect memory and thinking in aging adults. This handy PDF includes all the medications I usually check for. Click here to download.

The Four Most Commonly Used Types of Medications That Dampen Brain Function

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Q&A: What to do if your aging parent becomes rude & resistant

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Q: My loving, Jewish mother is 92 and has turned into a rude, abusive foul-mouthed woman who I no longer recognize.

She’s in relatively good health and amazingly lives in the same house I grew up in. She has an aide during the day. She won’t leave the house, treats the aide poorly and last weekend cursed out my very patient spouse. We’ve been getting 5 calls a day such as ” I’m having a heart attack; no one will tell me whether recycling comes today”!

I know she has early signs of dementia. Her cardiologist tells me not to take it to heart and this is not the same woman who raised me. She won’t go to the JCC adult programs, complains about being lonely at night, yet hangs up on me when I tell her we can get an aide at night or sell the home and let her live in a facility with women her age, etc. She threatens to call the Police if someone comes to her home at night. I have a POA but don’t want to rob her of her independence at 92. I try to tell her to speak nicely to the aides, myself, my spouse, but she says ” I don’t remember or I must have reacted to something someone did or said.”

I feel guilty as I’m not spending as much time with her as I would like, but it’s a matter of survival. Jewish guilt is thrown about with impunity and I can’t tell whether she’s being manipulative and obsessing over bullshit ( “oh my God the outside light may burn out tonight” ) or she really can’t control herself. Her aide is a lovely human being but my mom orders her around like a slave. Who is this woman? I’m torn, anguishing over what to do and am doing nothing but try to correct her inappropriate behavior and language. I wanted to take her to a geriatric psychiatrist but she refused to go. Medication to calm her down is dangerous per the MD as she could fall, etc.

What should I do? I’m at my wits end.

Dr. K’s answer:

Wow, difficult situation but unfortunately not uncommon.

You say your mother has early signs of dementia, and it is true that “personality changes” can be due to an underlying type of dementia, such as fronto-temporal dementia or Alzheimer’s, especially if a family notices other changes in memory or thinking abilities.

But it doesn’t sound like your mother’s been clinically evaluated for dementia, and you don’t say whether this has been brought up with her primary care doctor.

How to Get Signs of Dementia (or Personality Changes) Evaluated

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Q&A: What to Do About Unintentional Weight Loss

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Q: My 88-year-old father lives in his own home about 100 miles from us. He’s been living alone since my mother died five years ago. I thought he looked rather thin last time we saw him. I’m starting to feel worried about his nutrition. Should I be concerned? Would you recommend he start drinking a supplement such as Boost or Ensure?

A: This question comes up a lot for families. It is indeed very common for older adults to experience unexplained weight loss at some point in late life.

The brief answer is that yes, you should be concerned. But I wouldn’t recommend you jump to purchasing Boost or Ensure.

Now, in most cases, some nutritional supplementation is in order. But before focusing on this, you should first get help figuring out why your father is losing weight.

For doctors, unintentional weight loss is a major red flag when it comes to the health of an older person.

So in geriatrics, we usually recommend that an older person — or their caregivers — monitor weight regularly. This enables us to spot weight loss sooner rather than later.

Once we’ve spotted unexplained weight loss, the next step is to figure out what might be causing it. And then we’re in a better position to recommend a treatment plan, which might well include a nutritional supplement.

In this post, I’ll go over each of these steps in more detail.

Why you should monitor for unintentional weight loss

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Home Care vs. Home Health

4 Oral Medications FDA-Approved to Treat Dementia

The Four Most Commonly Used Types of Medications That Dampen Brain Function

Dr. K’s answer:

How to Get Signs of Dementia (or Personality Changes) Evaluated

Why you should monitor for unintentional weight loss

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