Helping Older Parents Articles

Wondering whether you should worry? Having trouble getting parents to accept help? Overwhelmed by challenges and concerns?

This part of the site is especially for you! It includes our hand-picked articles, tips, & resources for people helping older parents.

4 Things to Do When an Older Person Resists Help

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

“Doctor, my mom needs help but she won’t accept it and she won’t listen.”

Sound familiar? As several of you commented last fall, older relatives often seem reluctant to accept the help we think they need.

Now, I don’t have a magic formula for making this easy. But I do have a new article published on NextAvenue.org, that addresses this very issue:

“4 Things To Do When Your Parents Are Resisting Help“

In this article, I explain four approaches that I always recommend to families, when they are struggling to get older parents to make changes.

They aren’t silver bullets. But they should make it a little easier to get through difficult situations with older loved ones.

So take a look, and let me know what you think.

How to Check an Older Adult for Common Health & Safety Problems

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Worried about an older relative, but not quite sure what to do?

Common concerns I hear include:

Are my parents safe living on their own?
Could my mom be getting Alzheimer’s disease?
How can I find help for my father who lives alone?
I’m worried my mom might fall at home and get hurt.
I’m worried that my dad isn’t taking good care of himself.
Is it time to move to assisted living?

To help people turn their worries into a practical action plan, I’ve created a special new resource. You can download it here:

Helping Older Parents Quick Start Guide: Check Your Parents in 5 Key Areas

This guide is modeled on the mental checklists that I use when I first assess an older adult who lives at home.

Specifically, this is a quick version of how I initially check for the most common “don’t miss” health and safety red flags. It includes practical tips, such as who to ask for help, as well as a list of useful online resources.

If you’ve been concerned about an older adult who lives at home or in assisted-living, I hope you’ll take a look!

8 Behaviors to Take Note of if You Think Someone Might Have Alzheimer’s

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Have you been worried about an older person’s memory or thinking skills? If so, you’ve probably found yourself wondering if this could be Alzheimer’s, or another dementia.

What to do next? If you look online or ask people, the advice is generally this: tell the doctor.

This advice isn’t wrong, but it’s incomplete. Yes, you should tell the doctor. But you’ll dramatically improve your chances of getting to the bottom of things if you come to the doctor with useful information on what you’ve observed.

In fact, research has found that interviewing family members about the presence or absence of eight particular behaviors can be just as effective, when it comes to detecting possible Alzheimer’s, as certain office-based cognitive tests.

[Read more…]

POLST: Resources & Tips on Avoiding Pitfalls

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

In this post — the last in a 4-part series on better planning for health crises and end-of-life care — I want to tell you about a document that I wish more families knew about: POLST.

POLST (which stands for Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) is a legal document meant to tell healthcare professionals what you want done, in the event of a medical emergency. It’s kind of like a pre-hospital DNR (do-not-resuscitate), but much much better. (For starters, you don’t have to be DNR to use a POLST form.)

Note that POLST is not an advance directive, although when doctors ask if there is an advance directive, they are often thinking of POLST as well. (Because what they are really asking is, is there any pre-existing documentation that can help us understand what we should and shouldn’t do?)

And it’s not a perfect approach to making sure older adults get the care they want and need, when a health crisis hits. If you have heard of POLST, you may very well have heard some negative things; I’ve certainly heard some complaints over the years about POLST forms, or about how something didn’t quite work out despite the presence of a POLST.

Still, I really like POLST, and discuss POLST forms with many of the older adults and families that I work with. In California, POLST has largely replaced the pre-hospital DNR forms that some older adults used to have.

Furthermore, a study published in 2014 confirmed that in Oregon, where the POLST approach was first pioneered, POLST forms have helped get end-of-life wishes honored more often. (The New Old Age Blog published a related post recently, titled “When Advance Directives Are Ignored.”)

If you’re caring for a frail older person and you live in one of the many states with a POLST program — click here to find out if your state has POLST — I highly recommend you incorporate this tool into your loved one’s advance care planning. In most cases, a surrogate medical decision-maker can complete a POLST form.

In this post, I’ll share some resources on learning to use POLST to better plan for health crises and end-of-life care.

I’ll also offer some tips on avoiding common pitfalls, such as completing POLST without first addressing the learning and conversing parts of advance care planning.

[Read more…]

5 Tips to Help You With End-of-Life Planning

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Living wills. Advance directives. Powers of attorney for healthcare. Making your wishes known.

Many older adults have never gotten around to addressing these issues.

Others are overdue for a review. After all, this is not something where you should “set-it-and-forget-it.” Especially not if you completed the paperwork with a lawyer years ago, and have experienced changes in your health since then.

In previous posts on this site, I’ve shared two true stories about older adults facing health crises, and possible end-of-life situations. (See here and here.)

In both situations, the older person and his/her family had to weigh their options. We also helped them consider the benefits versus the burdens of the choices available.

It is these kinds of situations that advance care planning is supposed to help us — patient, family, healthcare providers — prepare for.

But I know that many older people haven’t gotten around to completing — or revising — their advance care planning. Which is a shame, since this will make it harder for their family and doctors to provide the right help if a medical emergency arises.

So in this article, I’ll try to make this process easier for you and your family. Here’s what we’ll cover:

What is advance care planning,
The four key steps that should always be part of advance care planning,
Five tips to help you — or your older parent — address advance care planning.

I’ll also tell you about some of my favorite resources available to help seniors with all of this. These can really make it easier for older adults to sort out what they want, and have the necessary conversations with others.

[Read more…]

A Trial of ICU Care: a true end-of-life story

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

This month I am featuring a series of posts about aging, health crises, and (possible) end-of-life situations. Earlier this week, I shared the story of Mrs. F, a very ill older woman with cancer who said she didn’t want to go to the hospital, even though she wasn’t on hospice.

Now, I want to share another true story, about a nonagenarian with cancer. He was DNR and we had planned for comfort care once his symptoms got worse. But when he fell dangerously ill, I ended up advocating for him to go to the Intensive Care Unit. Below is the story, with tips for caregivers at the end.

[Read more…]

Blood pressure medications linked to serious falls: What you can do

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Have you had any concerns about an older person falling, or being at risk for a broken hip?

A new clinical research study relevant to millions of older adults was just featured in the news.

The study, completed by a team of geriatrics researchers at Yale, found that in older adults aged 70 or older, taking blood pressure medication was linked to a higher risk of serious falls. (Serious falls as in, falls that caused an ER visit for a fracture, a dislocated joint, or a brain bleed. Serious stuff indeed!)

So, if the person you care for has a diagnosis of hypertension, and if you’ve had any concerns regarding falls or near-falls, these study results should be of interest to you.

In this post, I’ll review the key results of this study. Then I’ll tell you what I think are the most important practical take-aways for family caregivers.

This post will also include some practical tips to help you minimize the risk of your loved one experiencing a serious fall.

[Read more…]

Delirium: How Caregivers Can Protect Alzheimer’s Patients

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

This week’s Q & A call was about how to better manage health and healthcare issues, when you’re taking care of someone with a dementia such as Alzheimer’s.

Most of the caregivers’ questions were about delirium. This is the state of worse-than-usual confusion that people can develop when they are sick or under serious stress.

I love talking to Alzheimer’s caregivers about delirium, because this is a really common problem that family caregivers absolutely can do something about!

The key is to know that people with dementia are especially prone to get delirium when they fall ill (especially in the hospital). And then you’ll want to know the basics on how to spot this problem, and how to get the doctors to address it properly.

A fact I wish more caregivers of elders knew: delirium can be the only obvious sign of a potentially serious health problem, such as a heart attack, a urinary tract infection, or a pneumonia. (Especially when it comes to older people with Alzheimer’s, they often don’t voice focused complaints the way younger people do.)

The trouble is, even though delirium is very common in older adults, studies have shown that it’s often missed by doctors and nurses. This is a important problem in healthcare, for three key reasons:

[Read more…]

A common problem that speeds Alzheimer’s decline, and how to avoid it

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Earlier this week, while I was listening to a social work colleague (Mary Hulme of Moonstone Geriatrics) give a talk on dementia at the public library, the following question came up:

“How can one keep Alzheimer’s from getting worse?”

Now, Alzheimer’s disease — the most common underlying cause of dementia symptoms — does slowly get worse no matter what. (Given enough years, it will eventually damage the brain to the point of causing a slow death, which is why Alzheimer’s is a terminal disease.)

But on the other hand, we do know that some things tend to slow the progression of brain decline, whereas other things seem to speed up the decline. In other words, the actions we take — and don’t take — can influence a person’s dementia journey.

In my experience, people often have heard about things that might slow down decline (exercise is one of my favorites).

But it seems to me that people are often much less well-informed about the things that can speed up Alzheimer’s decline. This is too bad, because often it is possible to take actions to avoid or minimize things that might cause dementia to get worse faster.

So today I’m going to write about what I think is the most important of these potentially dementia-accelerating problems: delirium.

Delirium: What it is, why it matters

[Read more…]

Tools to Help with End-of-Life Planning

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Yesterday I did a webinar with Family Caregiver Alliance, on end-of-life issues for dementia caregivers.

(4/10/14: I have just uploaded this powerpoint to Slideshare, so you can see my slides here.)

As you can imagine, this is a big topic that can’t be covered comprehensively in an hour.

So, I focused the talk mainly on something that I often find myself wishing families had spent more time on: advance care planning. Specifically, I talked about how individuals and families can approach planning for future medical care, in the context of a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

Why? Because in my own experience, the last stage of life for a person with dementia is often strongly influenced by what kind of planning did — or didn’t — happen earlier on.

[Read more…]

Helping Older Parents Articles

Delirium: What it is, why it matters

Disclaimer