Like many of you, I’ve been following the recent coronavirus developments closely.
Last week, I devoted my twice-monthly Helping Older Parents members call to this topic, and took the unusual step of posting it to the BHWA podcast. (Find it here, now with video included.)
And of course, a lot has changed since then and now. So I have recorded another video commentary today, with updates and also suggestions on discussing safety and social distancing with aging parents. The video is below, or get the audio-only through the podcast here.
Please stay as safe as you can, and take care!
Related resources:
News and Updates:
- Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security Daily COVID-19 Situation Reports
- Younger Adults Make Up Big Portion of Coronavirus Hospitalizations in U.S.
- The Coronavirus Is Here to Stay, So What Happens Next?
Events:
- Free live online webinar on Thursday 3/26/20: Accessing Inner Resilience: Tools and Actions to Work with Challenging Times (from Zencaregiving.org)
Other resources:
- PrepareForYourCare.org
- Get their easy advance directives for almost all states here.
- POLST.org
- Learn how POLST helps frail and seriously ill adults get better care, and find out what is available for your state.
Services and Products:
- Institute on Aging Friendship Line
- This free service provides trained volunteers to talk to older adults who are lonely or depressed; they are also qualified as a crisis line for anyone contemplating harming themselves
- Care.coach (formerly Gerijoy) virtual companion service for older adults
- This service provides companionship, medication reminders, and more. We have had a Helping Older Parents member give us very positive feedback about it recently.
- If you would like to be part of our Better Health While Aging group trying this service at a discount, please let us know via email. You will get 20% off the set-up fee (usually $279) and ongoing monthly charge (usually $279/month). (BHWA is forgoing any commission in order to enable a larger discount for our community.)
Have you come across any resources or services that are especially helpful to older adults and families during this time? Please share below in the comments, thank you!
Incredibly helpful reminders during this challenging time. Helps bring a sense of calm by reminding me we are all doing the best we can.
I would be curious if you could comment in a future update about handling a parent dementia. If it becomes worse we are considering moving her in to my house….however I believe that will only increase her anxiety and at the same time it is hard managing what she is eating (she blows through all the sugar and junk foods and does not eat the nutritious stuff) when you are going over less frequently.
Hi Karen, and thanks on behalf or Dr Kernisan for your feedback.
There is a lot of great information on the website about living with a parent with dementia, including this one about how to navigate some of the difficult decisions that come up as dementia progresses.
You are correct that a move would be disruptive to your Mom, so it may be best for her to stay in her own environment with as much support as can safely be provided. We are in uncharted waters here, so it’s difficult to give advice. Stay well.
Dr. Kernisan,
Thank you for your expertise and informative, direct, and compassionate approach to getting much needed common sense information to the daughters of aging Mothers as we struggle to be patient and loving during the final journey of their lives.
Really appreciate your insight into this pandemic currently altering our daily existence.
Thanks, Julie, on behalf of Dr. Kernisan. Stay well.
Thank you for all your writings. They are invaluable in helping with my 98 yr old mother-in-law and some others in my immediate family. There is so much to read and learn and I find your postings to be among the best.
Nancy, I’m glad that you found the podcast helpful. I agree that Dr. Kernisan communicates so well about these tough issues. Stay well.
Are there any transcripts available? It is so much more effective in sharing this insightful material and when we have to summarize/discuss key points with others. Thank you!
Hi Tom. I’m glad you enjoyed the podcast. Keep watching the website for transcripts, or if you’re on the mailing list you’ll be the first to know if/when they become available.
Brilliant! Thank you Dr. Kernisan for taking the time to do and share this video. You are an amazing practitioner, and so much more. Your wisdom and generosity are much appreciated. Best of health to you and your family.
Thanks on behalf of Dr. Kernisan. All the best to you as well.
Thank you very much Dr. Leslie.
Your message helped me and I admire your selfless devotion to your mission of helping others who care for elderly family members.
I appreciated your viewpoints and suggestions, I have been staying with my mom for two months while recovering from hospital stays in December and January.
It has been a lot since I’m temporarily living in Virginia while my husband is home in Florida.
I will say a prayer for you .
Thank you kindly,
Beth
Thank you for your kind words on behalf of Dr. Kernisan. Glad to hear that your mom is home and I hope you both stay well.
Thank you so much for this balanced and informational update from a trusted source. I have gotten so much good foundational information from all you have written in the past about helping our older parents, it is helpful to have your calm and thoughtful perspective at this time of information overload!
Any helpful hints for grandparents caring for grandchildren during these troubled times? I am 71, my wife is 63 and we babysit our 3 year old grandson 3 days a week since his preschool closed due to the Coronavirus outbreak.
We are relatively healthy with no major health problems but have read warnings about children being carriers that can infect grandparents. I can’t imagine staying away from our grandson who brings so much joy and it helps his working parents tremendously.
Would appreciate your thoughts on this.
Hi Patrick. Most physicians would advise that you keep a social distance, even from grandchildren, at this time. Coronavirus does appear to be transmissible even from asymptomatic individuals, which includes kids.
Having said that, it is a choice that only you can make (at least for now, until further instruction from the authorities is issued), balancing the risk of getting ill with the joy that your grandson brings and your important role as babysitters. If anyone in your household develops symptoms, that person should immediately self-isolate from everyone else.
Many people are facing these kinds of difficult decisions right now. Stay well.
Hello,
I am interested in the subject of your video on coronavirus and seniors. Unfortunately, if I read (and write) English, I can’t hear it. Would you see a possibility of transcript for your videos, this one in particular and the others?
Thank you for your reply.
Cordially.
Claude Morlat.
You are such a help, blessing, and treasure. I am writing this just so that you know! Thank you for your help.
Thank you all for these very kind comments! I’m so glad to be helpful to you during this challenging time.
Re transcripts: the challenge is that transcripts cost money to produce, and I’m not sure we can spare the funds at this time. Better Health While Aging has always been run on a shoestring, and now our budget is even tighter because we are being affected by the downturn too (less traffic and less ad revenue).
I will keep the transcript request in mind and see what can be done.
My 73 year old husband was hospitalized recently for a non covid related illness, a racing heartbeat. Because hospital policy restricted any visitation, I was not available to lend support, except on the phone. My husband can be a difficult patient, and tends to become anxious. I got a call from the hospital at midnight. I could hear a lot of commotion in the background. I explained about my husband’s anxiety and asked if he could be given a mild sedative to help him calm down. The doctor wanted me to talk to my husband on speaker, and tried to force him to talk to me. The line disconnected and I got a call back telling me they were sending my husband the 30 miles home in a cab, and that he would likely not survive. I week later I got a summons charging my husband with aggravated assualt for pushing away the phone being held to his face by the hospitalist. Any injury was limited to ego. I’m furious and at a loss. My husband is very fragile. On good days he can get around the house ok, on bad days it’s to the bed and chair and back. Ideas?
Thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry to hear about what you and your husband experienced. The restriction of “essential caregivers” like yourself from visiting older adults with dementia, (and other conditions) in hospital is causing extreme stress and fairly predictable behavioural responses like the one you describe. I made a video about this, which you can watch here.
One suggestion might be to call the ward where your husband is admitted in advance, to let them know about his anxiety and suggest that they watch for warning signs of escalation. If you know of an approach that can be calming for him, let staff know as soon as he’s admitted, which I hope won’t happen again any time soon.
The “fragility” that you mention sounds like what we in Geriatrics call “frailty”, and it can make life unpredictable. There are a lot of good articles on Better Health While Aging that you might find helpful, like this one about the risks of hospitalization.
I hope things get sorted out and you can return to a normal routine. Stay well.