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Practical information for aging health & family caregivers

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4 Things to Try When Your Aging Parent Seems Irrational

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Dear Dr. K,

Any ideas on how I can relieve my mother’s anxiety about her thinking an animal got in the house? I can’t find anything and have moved the couches but she is convinced and scared.

She’s always been a worrier, plus her thinking has been deteriorating and her vision is impaired a bit. I take care of her and my Dad both 94. She gets upset if I tell her I think she just thought she was seeing something and says I think she is crazy. Last night she woke me up shaking and practically in tears because she thought she saw it again -I offered for her to come sleep with me but she wouldn’t. Any suggestions? — C.S.

Thanks so much for sending in this question. This is a very common complaint I hear from family caregivers, so I am happy to share some thoughts about what might be going on and what you can do.

Now, I can’t say for sure what is going on with your mother. That’s because she’s not my patient, and I’m not in a position to interview her and examine her.

What I can say, however, is that it’s very common for older adults to develop persisting fears, worries, and complaints that often strike their family members as irrational, paranoid, absurd, or ridiculous.

Why is this?

Among my own patients, I’ve found this is often related to underlying cognitive impairment. Meaning, a problem with memory or thinking that hasn’t yet been fully diagnosed by doctors.  In some cases, this kind of complaint ends up being one of the very earliest signs of clinical dementia.

Lewy-Body dementia, in particular, is associated with visual hallucinations. But any process causing brain deterioration (Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, etc.) can result in anxieties spiraling out of control, or persisting strange beliefs.

That said, it’s quite possible for an aging person to express such fears and not have it be dementia. Maybe there really is an animal in the house, or a person stealing your parent’s things. It’s also possible for people to develop confusion or false beliefs due a problem other than dementia, such as mental illness or delirium.

(For more in-depth information on the most common causes of paranoia and strange beliefs in older adults, see this article: 6 Causes of Paranoia in Aging & What to Do.)

Still, given your mom’s age and the fact you’ve noticed other signs of “thinking deterioration,” there’s a good chance that her persisting fear could be related to some chronic underlying cognitive impairment.

4 Things to try to help your mother

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Geriatrics For Caregivers Blog, Helping Older Parents Articles, Managing relationships, Q&A Tagged With: alzheimer's, dementia

Incompetence & Losing Capacity:
Answers to 8 FAQs

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Depositphotos_9669220_m-2015-brain-cogs-leaving-compressor

Have you ever been concerned about an older relative who seems to be making bad decisions?

Perhaps your elderly father insists he has no difficulties driving, even though he’s gotten into some fender benders and you find yourself a bit uncomfortable when you ride in the car with him.

Or you’ve worried about your aging aunt giving an alarming amount of money to people who call her on the phone.

Or maybe it’s your older spouse, who has started refusing to take his medication, claiming that it’s poisoned because the neighbor is out to get him.

These situations are certainly concerning, and they often prompt families to ask me if they should be worried about an older adult becoming “incompetent.”

In response, I usually answer that we need to do at least two things:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Aging health, Geriatrics For Caregivers Blog, Helping Older Parents Articles, Managing relationships, Q&A Tagged With: capacity, dementia, memory

Q&A: Hospice in Dementia, Medications, & What to Do If You’re Concerned

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

hospice in Alzheimer's dementia

Q: Dear Dr. K,

With all the news about opioids and benzodiazepines, and their risk of death, I would love to hear your take on the use of these drugs in hospice.

We’ve had two family experiences now (my Mom and my Aunt) who were given these drugs right away when they went on hospice…without hospice trying anything else first that would be less dangerous. My Mom was up and about walking one day at her memory care facility, even laughing. The next day, when hospice put her on morphine and Ativan, she was in a coma. She died 13 days later without ever regaining consciousness. When I protested and asked why she wasn’t waking up, the hospice nurse said, “It’s not the drugs, it’s the disease.” (Mom had dementia.) The nurses wouldn’t let us give her fluids (“you don’t want your mother to aspirate, do you?”) or feed her (“you don’t want your mother to choke, do you?”).

With my Aunt, she had also been in the memory care facility and got to the point of needing a two-person assist. Her power of attorney (POA) was given the choice of moving my Aunt into a nursing home or bringing in hospice. Hospice immediately gave her morphine and Ativan, then backed off the Ativan and gave her morphine every two hours until she died 3 days later. 

Now the third sister, also with dementia, has been in hospice for two months and counting. She is lucid most days, eating/drinking, comfortable—all without the opioid/benzo drug combo, because of our experience.

How can family members identify a hospice that doesn’t use this troubling combination of drugs from the start, without first trying something less dangerous, to make a patient “comfortable”? 

A: Thanks for sending in this question. I’m very sorry to hear that your experiences with hospice have left you concerned.

It is indeed extremely common for hospice to use morphine and lorazepam (brand name Ativan) to treat end-of-life symptoms. That’s because many people on hospice are suffering from troubling symptoms that these medications can relieve, such as pain, shortness of breath, anxiety, and agitation.

Still, these medications are not always necessary. They are supposed to be prescribed and used as required to relieve the dying person’s symptoms, not by default. So the situation you describe with your mother and your aunt does sound potentially concerning. At a bare minimum, the hospice personnel should have done a better job of discussing their proposed care plan with your family.

Now let me be clear: I cannot say if the way they prescribed morphine and lorazepam was inappropriate or not, because it’s impossible for me to know the specifics of your mother and aunt’s medical situation.

Still, we can certainly review some basics about hospice care for people with Alzheimer’s and related dementias, as well as recommended best practices, when it comes to using opioids and benzodiazepine sedatives.

Here’s what I’ll cover:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Geriatrics For Caregivers Blog, Helping Older Parents Articles, Q&A Tagged With: alzheimer's, dementia, end-of-life care, hospice, medication s

Q&A: How to Feel Closer to A Spouse with Alzheimer’s

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH

Hands of older couple

Dear Dr. K,

I live with my wife, who has Alzheimer’s.

I don’t argue or try to correct my wife when she misremembers or confabulates but this makes for two different worlds – hers and mine – and so we have less in common and grow apart. Is this the only option or have you better advice?  — D.T.

First and foremost, I want to thank you for everything you’ve done, and are doing, for your wife with Alzheimer’s. It’s not an easy journey, and she’s very fortunate to have you involved.

Your question really speaks to the relationship issues that arise in Alzheimer’s caregiving. As the disease changes your wife’s brain, this is going to change the way you and she relate to each other.

I’m glad you are looking for advice on this topic, because maintaining and improving your emotional connection can yield big benefits for both of you, in the short-run and in the long run. In fact, it’s quite possibly the most important thing that you can do for yourself and your wife.

Why maintaining an emotional connection is so important in Alzheimer’s

Feeling more connected will reduce stress for you both. This leads to three very important benefits:

  1. It will help your wife have the best brain function possible;
  2. It will help you manage caregiving challenges a little better;
  3. It will improve your health and well-being.

In my opinion, reducing stress and improving emotional connection can probably do more for her brain health than most dementia medications, and most conventional medical interventions. (Avoiding delirium, however, might be equally valuable.)

The mind-body-heart connection is that important!

Plus, it’s a win-win, since what improves your relationship will help reduce the stress that caregiving can put on your own health.

So, my opinion as a doctor is that this is important enough to your health, and your wife’s health, that you should seriously consider investing time — and possibly money — in this nurturing of your relationship.

How to counter the way Alzheimer’s tends to drive couples apart

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Geriatrics For Caregivers Blog, Managing relationships, Q&A Tagged With: alzheimer's

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