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028 – When Older Parents Resist Help: 4 Tips for Better Talks

by Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH 2 Comments

028 – When Older Parents Resist Help: 4 Tips for Better TalksLeslie Kernisan, MD MPH
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In This Episode:

Dr. K explains four things family caregivers should try, for better conversations with older parents who are resisting help. She covers:

  • How cognitive problems often complicate family conversations
  • The importance of hearing and validating an older person’s emotions
  • How to discuss an older person’s goals, and why safety shouldn’t automatically be the top priority
  • Ways to respond when an older parent voices “unrealistic” goals, such as never having help at home
  • Why it’s important for family caregivers to identify their own fears and desires, when it comes to aging parents

Related episode: 

022 – QA: Helping a Paranoid Older Parent and Checking Safety

Related Resources:

  • 4 Things to Do When Your Parents Are Resisting Help
  • 8 Behaviors to Take Note of If You Think Someone Might Have Alzheimer’s
  • Being Mortal: Medicine & What Matters in the End


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Comments

  1. Sharron says

    April 16, 2022 at 9:18 AM

    Could you offer suggestions for Spouces who are younger than one another. I am 64 and my husband just turned 78 and has been repeatedly telling the same thing and forgets what he has been told or has done. Is often short temperd ,others are starting to notice . I talked to our PC and she didn’t offer much help.

    Reply
    • Nicole Didyk, MD says

      April 16, 2022 at 12:54 PM

      I’m sorry that your didn’t get much information from your primary care provider. The symptoms you’re describing sound like they could be related to short term memory loss.

      This could be due to dementia or some other issue like depression, which you can read more about here: https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/depression-in-aging-diagnosis-and-treatment/.

      I would consider talking to someone at the Alzheimer Association to find out more about the warning signs of dementia, to see if the picture fits. They may also be able to give you some coaching about how to talk to your PC again and get the help you need.

      Reply

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