A step-by-step guide to getting your aging parent the help they need
It’s not easy to help a reluctant older parent. But with the right plan, you CAN respectfully engage your parent, overcome common obstacles, and finally get them the care they need.
Use this practical plan to get help for the most common worries, including safety concerns and memory loss,
while respecting your parent’s dignity and autonomy.
Dr. Kernisan’s book includes sample scripts to get you through difficult conversations, easy-to-use checklists, and free downloadable PDF worksheets to help you with assessing safety, getting a diagnosis, and more.
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Helping an aging parent is important work and can be deeply gratifying. But it’s also often stressful and confusing, especially if you’re just starting the journey of getting involved with your parent’s age-related challenges.
Most aging parents have not prepared to accept their children’s help. And most adult children have no idea how to get respectfully — yet effectively — involved to help their parent address worsening health and safety issues.
Without the right approach, attempting to help often creates conflict and stress for everyone involved, without actually getting your aging parent the help they need.
But with Dr. Kernisan’s new book, you’ll have a step-by-step plan to help you overcome the most common obstacles and address what’s most important, for your parent’s health and well-being.
And, you’ll learn ways to talk to your parent that help bring you closer, rather than further apart.
This uniquely practical book was designed to help families through the most common stumbling blocks families experience:
• How to get a declining aging parent to let you help, or make needed changes?
• How to pursue a medical evaluation to understand what is causing the concerning symptoms you’ve noticed?
• How to know if there’s Alzheimer’s or another memory problem, and how to get a diagnosis?
• How to stabilize your parent’s health and living situation, to improve safety and wellbeing?
• How to fight less and help more?
You’ll learn:
• How to check for signs your aging parent truly needs help, including memory symptoms and other common concerns
• How to talk to an aging parent in a way that’s respectful — and sheds light on what to do next
• What should happen ideally when it comes to medical evaluation and family intervention, and what might get in the way
• The most important things to know about possible mental “incompetence” and related legal documents
• Workarounds for common obstacles, including your parent refusing to see a doctor, family conflicts, and more
• How to focus on what matters most, including your relationship with your aging parent, their priorities, and your own well-being
Plus:
• Sample scripts, symptom checkers, “what this looks like” stories, and checklists you can bring to your doctor
• Downloadable PDFs of worksheets and tip-sheets that serve as a companion to the text
Order When Your Aging Parent Needs Help: A geriatrician’s step-by-step guide to memory loss, resistance, safety worries, and more
Praise for When Your Aging Parent Needs Help
“An outstanding guide for anyone concerned about an aging parent. The ‘cheat sheets’ alone are worth 10x the purchase price.”
Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC, past-president, Aging Life Care Association
“With its handy checklists (‘“downloadable cheat sheets’”) and illuminating vignettes (‘“What This Looks Like’”), this book is a terrific guide for families starting on their caregiving journey. The exhortations to focus on the patient’s perspective and the gentle reminders that caregiving is often frustratingly difficult make the manual especially valuable.”
Muriel R. Gillick, MD, Harvard Medical School, author of “The Caregiver’s Encyclopedia: A Compassionate Guide to Caring for Older Adults”
“Finally, a practical guide for the adult children of aging parents to help them help their parents navigate physical and cognitive decline of old age. An indispensable guide to one of the hardest things that most of us will have to do.”
Sei Lee, MD, Geriatrics professor, UCSF School of Medicine
“An essential step-by-step guide for families wondering how to respond when an older parent begins to experience difficulties. Full of sound practical advice, compassion, expert wisdom, and helpful resources.”
Judith Graham, Navigating Aging columnist, Kaiser Health News
“Far too many adult children struggle with uncertainty and doubt when it comes to helping their parents. This book is the missing piece that turns a puzzle into a picture.”
Dr. Bill Thomas, Founder of Changing Aging and The Eden Alternative
“As a health activist for 12 years, I’ve learned to watch for deep understanding and pragmatic structured tools. As an aging boomer, I hunger for compassionate guidance—for my whole family. This is a home run on both counts.”
Dave deBronkart, e-Patient Dave blogger and author of “Let Patients Help”
“I can think of no one, and I mean no one, I would trust more than Dr. Kernisan to deliver a highly practical, understandable and usable guide for navigating this life phase with your parents.”
Anne Tumlinson, Daughterhood.org
“This book is GPS for the children of older adults. If you are caring for an aging parent, this invaluable guide will help keep you on the right road. “
Howard Gleckman, Forbes columnist and author of “Caring for Our Parents”
“Invaluable advice and direct access to practical tools—like having your own geriatrician.”
Amy Goyer, family caregiving consultant, author of AARP’s “Juggling Work, Life, and Caregiving”
“Pure gold! Whether you’re planning future care for your parents or are stuck for answers about what comes next, this is your resource. Stellar advice from the doctor we all wish our parents could have.”
Carol Bradley Bursack, author of “Minding Our Elders”
MEET THE AUTHORS
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, is a practicing geriatrician and the founder of the popular aging health website and podcast Better Health While Aging, created to help families and older adults learn better ways to manage aging health challenges. Now a clinical instructor at the University of California, San Francisco, Division of Geriatrics, she was previously the site medical director of the Over 60 Health Clinic in Berkeley and founder of the GeriTech blog.
Paula Spencer Scott is an award-winning writer on health and aging and the author of more than a dozen books, including Surviving Alzheimer’s: Practical Tips and Soul-Saving Wisdom for Caregivers and collaborations with doctors at Harvard, UCLA, and Duke. A journalist fellow of the Gerontological Society of America, her work has appeared in Parade, PBS Next Avenue, AARP, and other national media. She also gives talks on caregiver support and brain health. Learn more at paulaspencerscott.com.
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